One Month Old :: Thoughts on Motherhood

How is my baby already one month old? It feels like just yesterday that I was in the hospital, hearing his cries for the very first time. They say that they grow way too fast, and I can already tell you how true that is, even just one month in. He’s only now outgrowing his newborn clothes, but I find myself continuing to put him in my favorite onesies though his little shoulders poke out the top. So, how is it going? Truly?

It’s easier than I thought it would be. 

I feel like I’m not allowed to say that. I should be giving myself accolades for managing to shower or put my hair up on any given day. People expect me to be covered in spit up, wearing maternity yoga pants and leaking through my shirt. The reality is, I’ve showered every single day since I brought him home. I’ve worn makeup more often in the past month than I did in all of 2015. Maybe it sounds crazy, but I feel like I have a purpose now. A reason to get ready. And I feel more like myself than I have, well, maybe ever. 

This goes against everything that I’m supposed to experience as a new mother. It’s why I so severely hate being told what to expect. The “just you wait” bits of advice from well-meaning parents. Because this is my experience, and it’s just as valid as what I’ve been told it would be like. Here are a few other observations I’ve made in the past month:

It’s Okay to be Selfish. In Fact, it’s Necessary.

It’s no secret that I’ve been enjoying my wine. In fact, my husband practically kicked me out of the house last week so I could go have a beer by myself. He was home yesterday, and I got to drive all the way down to LA to meet a girlfriend for lunch, WITH margaritas. It’s not the alcohol that’s important; it’s spending time doing things for myself. Getting away from my baby, even if for a half an hour so that I can wander through Hobby Lobby. I truly believe that it’s because of these stolen moments that I still have my sanity. And I don’t feel guilty about it one bit. 

Scheduling Your Baby is Possible.

If you have kids, you know that there are about ten thousand different philosophies on parenting, none of which are perfect. As parents, however, it’s up to us to do our research and determine what is best for our babies and our families. Robert and I made the decision early on that we were going to try and get on a schedule as soon as possible. This goes against the “feed on demand” philosophy that is more prevalent. At four weeks, we currently have a 3 hour feeding schedule from 8am to 8pm, and then two feeds at night, one at midnight (which Robert takes) and one at 4am. That means that we both get at least six hours of uninterrupted sleep. Do you know how amazing that is? 

I also think that it must bring Remi comfort, in a way. Instead of waiting for him to tell us when he’s hungry, we feed him according to the schedule. While there may sometimes be crying as he waits for food, for the most part he has the reassurance of knowing that we will tell him when it’s time to eat. Yes, there are moments when he’s hungry too early, but our pediatrician gave us the okay to let him fuss it out while we all wait. This teaches him that he needs to feed fully, rather than eat little bits at a time. 

Some consider this selfish for us, but it’s worked really well for our family so far. 

Babywearing is a Godsend. 

Even as I write this, I’m wearing him. Going to the grocery store? Strap him to my chest. Fussy before dinner? Wear him while cooking! While I don’t feel it’s necessary to hold him all the time (I suppose this is why I am able to shower without guilt on a daily basis), it gives both of us comfort to spend time tummy to tummy. Not only that, but I can use TWO hands while at Target! It’s pretty awesome. We use the Boba wrap* and it is SO EASY once you figure it out. 

Please Don’t Say That We Are Lucky.

I suppose we do have an “easy” baby, but we are working really hard to instill good habits in all of us. It really undermines all of our hard work when you say that we are lucky to have an easy baby. Luck isn’t involved. It’s discipline, routine, and a whole lot of love that makes us one happy family. 

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