I envy people who have found a home in their church. I envy the community they have around them, the shared experience that brings them together.
For all intents and purposes, science in my religion. Well, science and feminism. I’m not woo-y in any way, shape or form. While I am perfectly satisfied in my own belief system, sometimes I miss the community and comfort that comes with religion and parenting groups.
You know what mommy groups I’m talking about: babywearing or essential oil fanatics or vegan eating or whatever. It always feels like the sense of community comes from the thing that binds them. The differences don’t matter so much because they have a common core. I don’t see this in groups that value evidence based parenting. There is no talk about mother’s intuition or homemaking or anything similar.
I don’t know if it’s even possible to create that sense of comfort and community without a faith (vs. science) based system. It kind of sucks, actually. As mothers, we love our children, obviously, but we don’t talk about the grace that keeps us going. We don’t have that warmth that comes with believing in a god or having a spiritual life.
Sometimes I think it would be easier if I lived by a single set of a rules that come with being conservative or belonging to a particular religion. Even living an “all-natural” life, in a way. There’s no room for reason. It’s all faith, and I respect and admire that faith (to an extent). Not having to spend every moment of every day wondering if something is right or wrong because it’s already been decided for me. Obviously science has already given me some of the answers, but not the deep ones.
So, where do I find this community that I so desperately want? What is that shared connection that creates comfort and warmth? Maybe it’s in making my house a home, or food (always a tie that binds), or raising children while working. I don’t quite know yet, because it always seems like communities based on these things have another layer. Making my house a home in a natural way, eating healthy foods (rather than my favorite comfort foods), or raising children while working in a corporate environment. I suppose I’m just overthinking it – I tend to do that.
But hopefully, someday, I’ll find that space. That community with shared values and experience that I connect with on a visceral level. Wish me luck.